Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Ms. Eva ... on pub night blackouts

"The night started with a shot and ended with my deflated ass smelling like Jaeger, so go figure.

"I'd been to this particular bar before, but this week was different. There was a sexual musk in the air and I'd be damned if wasn't already three sheets to the wind before I even stepped in the door.

"Luckily, me and the Irish bouncer had done some bouncing of our own back in the day, so he let my slurred cuss words and promiscuous prancing go unnoticed as he slipped me in the side.

"That's seriously the last thing I remember this sexy little minx of a sheep doing. The rest is a blur of singing, hoof clapping and a weird memory that I have of staring down at the floor while some chap inspected my oil tank for leaks.

"Then things got really weird. I was blacked out on Jameson and Jaeger, but I still have this grainy series of images in my head of flying about a dark room while co-eds grabbed at my utter and kissed me with mouths I surely hope they washed before kissing anyone they held near and dear. I say this because the gift my kisses give is the one that keeps on giving ... for life.

"Anyway, I awoke with a start and had to blow myself back into shape. Hey, not like that."

Turn of events: Body shots